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    Written by certified Naturopath Suzanne Shares

    - 8 years of experience with over 1600 clients in the Netherlands and Europe.

When you change your body and your daily life

After a loss, a breakup, or another major experience, your day may go differently. Maybe you forget to eat, hardly cook anymore, or on the contrary, frequently crave something familiar. You don't have to react the same way as someone else. One person loses weight, another gains weight, and another mainly notices changes in sleep and energy. That makes this topic personal and calls for an open, non-judgmental attitude.

In this article, you will find concrete examples and direct access to scientific research. This way, you can better distinguish between what you observe yourself and what the available studies show about it.

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Your world has changed

Some periods turn everyday life upside down.

Why eating sometimes no longer happens automatically

After a loss, a breakup, or another major experience, your day may go differently. Maybe you forget to eat, hardly cook anymore, or on the contrary, often seek out something familiar. You don't have to react the same way as someone else. One person loses weight, another gains weight, and another mainly notices changes in sleep and energy. That makes this topic personal and calls for an open, non-judgmental perspective.

The core is an achievable, personal approach in which daily routines are not confused with a medical diagnosis or a proven supplement effect.

There are no rules for how your body should react after a loss. Some people mainly experience tension and hardly get around to eating. Others notice that cooking for one person has become difficult, or find comfort in familiar flavors and trusted mealtimes. Maybe nothing changes with your weight, but you sleep much worse. It is important to take those differences seriously. A change in eating habits is not automatically a problem that needs to be solved with a new diet. Sometimes it already helps when someone non-judgmentally thinks along about what is achievable at this moment.

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There is no fixed mourning pattern

A changed appetite does not say how deep your grief is.

Why your weight can go either way

A heavy heart or grief can go hand in hand with a reduced appetite. On the other hand, eating can offer comfort or be one of the few fixed moments in a difficult day. Grocery shopping, social meals and regular exercise can also change. You don’t need to compare your reaction with that of others. A practical start is to see which meals and quiet moments you can still comfortably organize.

The key is an achievable, personal approach in which daily routines are not confused with a medical diagnosis or a proven supplement effect.

When shared meals fall away, the meaning of eating can change. There may be less structure, or a need for familiar rituals may arise. Physical fatigue, grief and practical obligations also play a role. These are not fixed phases that everyone has to go through. Try to recognize for yourself which situations are the most difficult, such as grocery shopping or eating dinner alone. A small practical solution could be having a meal with a friend, preparing food at a better time or asking for help with the daily groceries.

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What does scientific research say?

The group and situation under investigation are important.

Grief and body weight: no simple explanation

A systematic review on spousal loss in later life included 34 articles from 32 studies. It found strong evidence for nutritional risk and unintentional weight loss, and moderate evidence for impaired sleep. This research among older adults does not support the general statement that grief usually leads to weight gain. A separate longitudinal study on life events and chronic stress described associations with weight gain in some subgroups. These studies answer various questions.

Scientific research on grief often focuses on specific groups and circumstances. The mentioned systematic review primarily examined older adults after spousal loss. In that review, unintentional weight loss was a much clearer finding than weight gain. Another study on life events and weight looked at a broader population and did not find the same outcomes for everyone. This means that you cannot say what physical reaction is normal based on a single publication. The original studies show why the target group and the duration of the research must always be part of the explanation.

The systematic review by Stahl and Schulz was published online on July 24, 2013, and appeared in the journal in August 2014. They examined 34 articles from 32 studies, primarily about older people after spousal loss. The findings are mainly relevant for nutritional risk and unintentional weight loss. It is not research that shows that trauma or grief in general causes weight gain. In practice, eating habits can indeed change in different ways; therefore, the personal story deserves space without presenting one reaction as the norm.

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Sleep and daily structure

Small, familiar actions may be enough.

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What happens to your routine after a loss?

You may be tired, sleep irregularly, or find it difficult to plan ahead. This can make meals less predictable. A simple supply of foods you enjoy or a regular meal with someone you trust may be more helpful than a comprehensive nutrition plan. Also consider small amounts of exercise, such as a walk around the neighborhood. Do what you can without tying your recovery to a timeline.

The key is an achievable, personal approach in which daily routines are not confused with a medical diagnosis or a proven supplement effect.

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Why a diet sometimes doesn't fit

Not every phase calls for weight loss.

First take care of yourself, then possibly a goal

When your life is turned upside down, it can be a lot to ask of yourself to lose weight at the same time. Perhaps your first goal is to eat enough, sleep regularly, or better manage your energy. A change in weight does not necessarily need to be addressed right away. If you experience persistent unintentional weight loss, severe eating difficulties, or a serious decline in functioning, appropriate professional support is important.

The key is an achievable, personal approach in which daily routines are not confused with a medical diagnosis or the proven effect of a supplement.

When you are going through a difficult period, it can help to temporarily adjust your goals. Perhaps for now you mainly want to eat enough and build up your energy, rather than lose weight. That is a legitimate choice. You do not have to overcome your grief before you can take care of yourself, but you also do not need to establish an extensive routine. Be alert to major unintentional changes in appetite or weight. A healthcare provider can help you assess the situation if eating or sleeping becomes problematic over the long term.

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Room for personal guidance

The conversation can be about more than pounds.

Which questions can help you?

What takes the most energy right now? Which meals are manageable? Can you ask for help with shopping or cooking? What moments bring you peace? At Suzanne Shares, wellness guidance can help make daily habits and appropriate self-care topics of conversation. This is not trauma therapy or a replacement for psychological care. If you want to process deeply affecting experiences, a professional trained in that area may be appropriate.

The core is an achievable, personal approach in which daily routines are not confused with a medical diagnosis or a proven supplement effect.

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A gentle first step

There doesn't have to be progress every day.

A week with achievable anchors

Choose one or two familiar moments in your day: for example, breakfast, a cup of tea in peace, or eating together. Keep expectations low and see what support you can accept. If you want insight into an unexpected weight change, look at the trend calmly and discuss physical symptoms with a healthcare provider if necessary. You do not have to prove to your body that you are grieving ‘well’.

Further information at Suzanne Shares: https://www.suzanneshares.nl/pages/afvallen-lukt-niet-meer

A small, regular activity can provide a familiar moment in an unpredictable day. Think of having breakfast together, a short walk, or a warm meal that someone makes for you. Feel free to discuss with the people around you what help actually feels comfortable. Needs can vary from week to week. Anyone seeking support in processing trauma or intense grief can turn to a qualified healthcare provider for that purpose. In addition, wellness guidance can support practical self-care, but it does not replace trauma therapy or grief treatment.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does this topic mean for my daily life?

After a loss, a breakup, or another major life event, your day may go differently. You might forget to eat, hardly cook anymore, or find yourself frequently seeking out something familiar. You don't have to react the same way as someone else. One person loses weight, another gains weight, and another mainly notices changes in sleep and energy levels. This makes the subject personal and calls for an open, non-judgmental attitude.

What does scientific research show about this?

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What can I investigate myself in a calm way?

You may be tired, sleeping irregularly, or finding it difficult to plan ahead. This can make meals less predictable. A simple supply of foods you enjoy or a regular meal with someone you trust may be more helpful than a detailed nutrition plan. Also consider small amounts of activity, such as a walk around the neighborhood. Do what you can without tying your recovery to a timetable.

What is a common misconception?

When your life is turned upside down, it can be a lot to ask of yourself to lose weight at the same time. Perhaps your first goal is to eat enough, get regular sleep, or better manage your energy. Weight changes do not necessarily need to be addressed right away. If unintentional weight loss persists, or if there are severe eating difficulties or a serious decline in functioning, appropriate professional support is important.

When is personal guidance worthwhile?

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Greater understanding allows room for appropriate choices

Choose one or two recognizable moments in your day: for example, breakfast, a cup of tea in peace, or eating together. Keep expectations low and see what support you can accept. If you want insight into an unexpected weight change, look at the trend calmly and discuss physical complaints with a healthcare provider if necessary. You do not have to prove to your body that you are grieving 'well'.

Research and sources:

Systematic review of grief and health habits

Longitudinal study on major events and weight change

Further at Suzanne Shares: More about weight, habits and an appropriate approach

Read more or discuss personal questions about your daily habits.

More background

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